CONTINUED:

RIKER arrives on the bridge.

RIKER

What the heck is going on here? This ship is a
madhouse.

YAKKO
Actually I like to refer to it as a residence for the
reality challenged.

Little hearts form in front of Dot's eyes with an accompaniment of romantic music.

DOT
Hello Number One nurse!

Dot leaps into Riker's arms.

RIKER
Huh?

DOT
How about taking me down to the holodeck and
showing me a good time?

WORF
Is this some kind of joke?

As Dot kisses Riker. Yakko appears next to Worf.

YAKKO
No this is some kind of a joke. Put it there pal!

Yakko shakes Worf's hand and a jolt of electricity shocks Worf.

WORF
Enough!

Worf tries to swing his fist at Yakko but Yakko ducks out of the way.

PICARD
Now listen here!

WAKKO
Been there, done that.

PICARD
I am Jean Luc Picard of the starship Enterprise.

WAKKO
A real starship?

YAKKO
Like in Star Wars?

DOT
I get to play Princess Leah Organa Bana Rama
Cuomo Demono Bono Solo.

Dot does a quickchange and becomes Princess Leah. Wakko walks over and takes one of the side hairbraids which looks like a sticky bun and eats it.

RIKER
Would someone please explain to me what is
going on?

Yakko appears before Riker dressed as Luke Skywalker.

YAKKO
It's simple. The evil emperor Darth Nader
wants to take over the galaxy by controlling
consumer advocacy.

DATA
I'm finding their logic very hard to understand.

Wakko is dressed as Chewbacca.

WAKKO
That's okay 3-PO, we understand.

Yakko stands in front of the bridge viewscreen.

YAKKO
Come siblings, we have a galaxy to save!

PICARD
Stop this foolishness immediately.

PICARD
Worf, stop them!

Worf makes a desperate grab at the Warners but they disapear into the turbolift. Worf crashes headlong into the doors. Piccard slumps down into his chair and holds his hand to his forehead.

PICARD (cont'd)
I have a feeling this is going to be a long stardate.

INT. STARSHIP - DAY - ENGINEERING REGINALD BARKLEY and GEORDI LA FORGE are working on the power conduits down in engineering.

GEORDI

Hey Reg how's the work on the power conduit
coming along?

A large hairy white and brown dog looks up from behind some control panels. He WOOFS and runs off screen to reveal Reginald Barkley.

BARKLEY
Coming along fine sir, except...

GEORDI
Except what?

BARKLEY
It's about Ensign Boo who just came down to help
me work on the coils.

GEORDI
I've been told Ensign Boo is the best in Starfleet.

Barkley gives Geordi a puzzled look. Behind Barkley ENSIGN BOO is hard at work pecking on the PADD with his beak.

BARKLEY
Well frankly sir I have to disagree.

Ensign Boo is pulling on wires from an open power conduit that look like giant worms.

GEORDI
Oh, and why's that Reg?

BARKLEY
It's just that... well... Ensign Boo is a chicken.

GEORDI
Reg I'm surprised at you! That's no way to talk
about a fellow crewmate!

Ensign Boo has stretched out the power cord to the other side of engineering. The other ensigns are backing away from him.

GEORDI (O.S.) (continuing)
I think you need another session with counselor Troy.

CHICKEN BOO
Ba-gawk!

The power conduit snaps sending huge amounts of power flowing through Ensign Boo. Klaxons sound and smoke comes out of the sides of Boo's head. Boo bounces around the room finally snapping free of the power conduit and lands blackened and barely conscious on the floor.

BARKLEY
See I told you he was a giant chicken.

Chicken Boo gets up and runs out of engineering.

RIKER (V.O.)
Mr. La Forge is everything all right down there? I heard the alarm.

GEORDI
Except for a severed power conduit to the aft turbolifts
and my ensign turning out to be a giant chicken I think
things are going quite well.

RIKER (V.O.)
What?
(sigh)
Make a report of it, we've got a wierd stardate ahead of us.

GEORDI
Understood commander, engineering out.

INT. STARSHIP - DAY - SICKBAY BEVERLY CRUSHER is sitting at the desk in her office doing some tests. THE NURSE walks up behind her.

THE NURSE
Excuse me Beverly but Lieutenant Skull-Head
is here for his physical.

BEVERLY
Okay I'll be right there.
(beat)
Skull-head? That's an odd sounding alien name.

Beverly steps out of her office into the examination room and SCREAMS. There is an animated human skeleton wearing a starfleet uniform and a bowler. Beverly faints. ELMYRA comes up behind Lieutenant Skull-head and grabs his bony hand.

ELMYRA
Come on Mr. Skull-head man. We have to go
capture us some cute fuzzy wuzzy Centauri heads.

CONTINUED:

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